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Female Led Relationship Blog

Your Mistress deserves gratitude!

Sep 062019

Be grateful for everything that gets you through the day with your submission. If you are given tasks by your Mistress, thank her for the privilege of serving her.

undefinedLook for opportunity; her needs are your needs, her wants are your wants. As her submissive you won’t have any expectation, instead you will show gratitude for whatever she gives you.
Moreover, being grateful for the duties she assigns to you is a way to acknowledge that her enjoyment is your joy and that you love to satisfy her requirements.

Thank you Mistress! As a submissive or slave, you will repeat this three words constantly. You will say thank you Mistress not only for the good things but for punishment and corrections too.
The more grateful you are to your Mistress for the penalties and advice she gives you, the stronger you will become in her love and strength.

Learning and growing takes time, energy and patience but its not only for you but for her as well. She will decide the best way to teach you, she will decide when to correct you and she will also decide how to punish you if you deserve it.

As you see teaching can be even more exhausting and challenging than learning. Your Mistress is giving you that gift; take it, appreciate it and take advantage of it.

Don’t disappoint her, if she chose you is because she knows you can learn how to satisfy her needs. She is giving you Purpose!

How does BDSM works in couples favor?

Jul 092019

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Truth be told, there’s grounded scientific research which suggests that BDSM and kinky sex is not just a portal into sexual exploration and experimentation which navigates away from the traditional ‘vanilla’ sexual lifestyle, but that BDSM is something which also leads to numerous physical and mental health benefits.

Kinky sex is primarily about two main things; negotiation and consent. In order to negotiate and navigate through consent, a couple needs to have an open and honest communication. For that reason, couples and individuals who practice BDSM and kinky sex tend to be in a far better position than non-kinky couples when it comes to the art of communication. Kinky couples discuss their feelings, their desires in an open fashion which then leads to improved communication between the two.

Communication is an important part of kink and BDSM. Couples need to discuss their fantasies with their sexual partner, they need to then negotiate about what each can do for the other. They will discuss what turns them on, their likes and dislikes and what they’re willing to do. This discussion forms the negotiation. You don’t just walk into the bedroom one day and your partner is sitting there with a ball gag and a whip and they say – I want to be whipped. There needs to be the discussion of the practicality of the scenario, how hard do you want to be whipped, do you want me to talk dirty while I do it, can I pull your hair, am I allowed to be rough and controlling?

Couples that practice BDSM might have a debriefing discussion after the play session where they will discuss what they liked, what turned them on, and if there was anything that made them feel uncomfortable. In this regard, BDSM couples are not just having a single discussion, they’re having multiple discussions about their activities until it is refined to the most ideal level that suits all involved.

When it comes to BDSM activities, some of the activities might involve a sense of physical danger and risk. It is therefore essential that communication and trust exists between a couple – both of which contribute to the sense of intimacy that they feel for each other and ultimately improve the relationship between the two consenting individuals.

A Kinky relationship, or one that engages in kinky sex is stronger for a variety of reasons not the least of which include the increased sense of intimacy and the levels of communication. Even a simple discussion about bringing a simple vibrator to use while playing, can open up the relationship and bring intimacy, honesty and openness. For this reason, and the idea that the individuals are close, having a kinky relationship encourages fidelity. That’s even inclusive of the idea of open relationships and polyamorous relationships.

But what else can BDSM do for you?

Kink actually improves mental health. Kink practitioners were found to be less neurotic, more open and mindful, more secure and grounded within their relationships and had a better sense of well-being. In part this comes from the increased level of intimacy, openness and communication that kinky players have with their partners. The communications helped them understand their partner in profound and interesting ways. If for example one partner is into the idea of being restrained – what they’re really looking for is the idea of submission and having their sense of power taken away. Through understanding this, it gives a profound insight into your partners mind. You can then think; my partner likes the idea of having his sexual power taken away and for me to take charge in the bedroom.
It doesn’t stop there and I could go on and on talking about the benefits that BDSM brings to the table, So what if I tell you that it also helps with anxiety…

Many people think that it can be stressing in many ways and mostly if you go deeper, as for example to play not only with restrains but to inflict or receive pain.
They might attribute the experiencing of giving or receiving pain as a stressful activity. The reality is however, that the sexual enjoyment of receiving or giving pain will actually reduce feelings of anxiety. As well.

As you see, BDSM is far from being only a sexual matter, it goes deeper, maybe there are kinks that aren’t for you and your partner, but you might find that there are so any kinks that you haven’t even heard about.
Try, communicate, push limits and then you decide as a couple what makes you both happy.

Sadomasochism!

Jul 022019

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We all have heard the term sadomasochism, where the sadist enjoys inflicting pain and the masochist enjoys feeling pain. But let’s dig deeper to make sure everyone gets the right idea and what’s behind it.

Where does the word Sadism comes from?

The word sadism is derived from the Count Donatien de Sade, an eighteenth century French nobleman who wrote novels depicting sexual violence and cruelty.

What does Sadist means by definition?

A sadist is a person who is sexually aroused or gains sexual gratification by inflicting pain, cruelty, or humiliation on others. But not only that; some can also experience the same gratification from watching someone else inflicting pain on others. Indeed, a lack of consent may be a requisite part of the experience for a True Sadist.
Sadism may be of a sexual nature, or it may not!

Where does the word Masochism comes from?

The word Masochism is derived from the Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch in the nineteenth century, who described the gratification he got from his own pain and humiliation.

What does Masochist means by definition?

A Masochist is a person who derives sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation.
For submissives, allowing someone else to control their sexual pleasure can be a turn on, while some measure of pain is said to heighten sensation, excitement, and therefore, sexual arousal.
Masochism may be of a sexual nature, or it may not!

BDSM and Sadomasochism.

In the BDSM community, sadomasochistic practices are common. Sadomasochistic sexual encounters usually occur in the context of scripted scenes that simulate interactions between Master or Mistress and slave, employer and servant-maid, teacher and student, owner and horse or dog and parent and child. For the dominant in the situation, being in control of another's person pleasure - and to some extent their bodies and minds - is also a stimulating part of the game. Submissives like taking this role because it brings up feelings from childhood, like dependency, safety, and protection and winning the approval of the sadist becomes the center of his/her attention.

But keep in mind in BDSM, the consent and comfort of both partners is very important, so establishing limits and safe words to ensure both participants safety and integrity is imperative.

Why Do People Choose A BDSM Lifestyle?

Jun 132019

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People choose a BDSM lifestyle for different reasons. Someone might be attracted to it because of a book, a magazine, a movie, heard about it from a friend etc. Most people like BDSM to experiment with control. A Mistress as a Master enjoy being in charge, having the control and power over others.

Why do submissives like this lifestyle? For a submissive, having control over your life or your body taken away can be very exciting. The uncertainty about what's going to be done to you, regardless the safe word you can use to end the scene; has still a psychological effect. That uncertainty and fear that comes from giving up control is a very powerful feeling.

Surrendering control to another person is a very "freeing" experience itself while responsibility is often stressful. By giving up freedom, a submissive may feel "freed" from responsibility and therefore freed from the stress that comes with it, if only for a moment.

Why do Dominants (alpha) like this lifestyle? Having control over another person's life or body can feel very empowering. The knowledge that you now have power over someone else, and they will not only willingly but gladly submit to your will, can be very exciting.

So now that we established what the Dominant wants and what the submissive needs, let's talk about TRUST. For a submissive, being able to Trust someone so deeply that you are willing to literally put your life in their hands is very romantic. For a Dominant, having someone in your life who is willing to give you that kind of Trust can be profoundly moving.

Fantasy is another big element of BDSM. We call it role-play; one is in power and the other is powerless. Fantasy and role-play are probably the most common forms of BDSM out there, because it has such an obvious appeal. Even people who are horrified by bondage and D/s can usually see the appeal of role-play in the bedroom.

Last but not least there's the remaining aspect of BDSM; the enjoyment of inflicting or being in pain (commonly referred to as S&M). It plays into both the control and the fantasy aspects of BDSM. Often a BDSM scene will involve the submissive being "punished" by the Mistress/Master for some reason and it may also involve a fantasy to justify it.

 

The Real Meaning About Pegging And Being Pegged.

Jun 132019

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Pegging, or anal penetration of a submissive male by a Dominant Female, using a strap on dildo; is perhaps the pinnacle of power exchange in a BDSM relationship. While the physical side can involve pleasure for the submissive, a big part of what makes pegging such an intense turn on are the psychological aspects.

Helping Mistress fasten the buckles on the harness that holds the big, thick lifelike rubber penis and listening to Her tell you how she is about to make you Her bitch, brings home the reality of what is about to happen.

BDSM is about control, and being made to get on your knees and deep throat Her massive cock before she crams it into your quivering hole is the ultimate expression of Dominance, the ultimate role reversal. With every stroke, She takes a little bit more of your masculinity turning you into her property and breaking your will. She understands how humiliating it is for you and taunts you as She takes you over and over again.

She might tell you what a cock loving slut you are or that She is going to get you a real cock one day, or perhaps pimp you out. She might compare the size of Her cock to yours, or threaten to peg you in front of people.

The effects of pegging are multiplied exponentially when the sub is locked in chastity for extended periods of time. This is in part because of how sexually desperate the sub is, but more so because of the synergies between the control elements of pegging and chastity. The caged sub feels controlled before even being spread and violated.

The sub can be penetrated in an endless variety of positions and there are lots of things that can make the pegging experience even more intense. While pegging can be soft and loving, most times the sub can be taken roughly and being slapped and whipped or tortured during penetration. The Mistress might even use the subs caged cock as a handle while riding him or perhaps pull on his collar or make him wear a bit in their mouth for that same purpose.

Ultimately the sub will crave being pegged and learn to beg for it!

How did I learn to be a Real Mistress.

Jun 052019

undefinedTo have a better understanding on how to be a great Mistress, I have always said is by being a submissive. You will learn by being dominated what is expected from you and that will help you to know what to expect from your submissives when you become the one to Dominate. After serving for months a very strict and experienced Master I learned what has to be done, what to expect, how to guide, to teach, to approach to rule, to succeed.

It was not my place, I am no submissive so I was miserable each day I spent at his service; but the teaching was incredible. After I left him I started training with the implements, reading books and being mentored by other Mistresses. “My experiences as a submissive also gave me a first hand look into the psychological elements of domination.”
“We all walk around with our walls up, only showing others safe glimpses of ourselves. It was exhilarating to see what happens when people are willing to be vulnerable.”

After all my training, I became a Real Mistress. But what does being a Real Mistress means?
In BDSM, a Mistress is a woman in the Dominant position of a relationship. She is the one in control of the submissive partner, and she owns and has complete and utter dominance over her partner. Those that she controls must always address her as Mistress (unless she chooses another term of power), and she is known to be the supreme leader of her relationship, making decisions for herself and her sub without question or resistance. Her slave will work hard to serve her every need, always thinking of her first, worshipping her as if she were a living, breathing Goddess.

Now while this may seem a different relationship structure to those outside the community, it is not nearly as dangerous or assuming as it may seem. While the Mistress does indeed have control of her relationship, the sub below her entered into the relationship with full consent, and most of the times this sub wants nothing more than to be in her presence, serving her every need.

This type of power exchange relationship fills a deep need for the sub, and the only way they can find true happiness and satisfaction is by being in a relationship where they are completely dominated. While there may be situations where the Mistress does exert her control and power harshly; typically she does so in a way that is meant to better the relationship and create happiness and harmony for herself and her partner.

A Real Mistress is a Caring Mistress!!!

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