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Why Do People Choose A BDSM Lifestyle?

Jun 132019

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People choose a BDSM lifestyle for different reasons. Someone might be attracted to it because of a book, a magazine, a movie, heard about it from a friend etc. Most people like BDSM to experiment with control. A Mistress as a Master enjoy being in charge, having the control and power over others.

Why do submissives like this lifestyle? For a submissive, having control over your life or your body taken away can be very exciting. The uncertainty about what's going to be done to you, regardless the safe word you can use to end the scene; has still a psychological effect. That uncertainty and fear that comes from giving up control is a very powerful feeling.

Surrendering control to another person is a very "freeing" experience itself while responsibility is often stressful. By giving up freedom, a submissive may feel "freed" from responsibility and therefore freed from the stress that comes with it, if only for a moment.

Why do Dominants (alpha) like this lifestyle? Having control over another person's life or body can feel very empowering. The knowledge that you now have power over someone else, and they will not only willingly but gladly submit to your will, can be very exciting.

So now that we established what the Dominant wants and what the submissive needs, let's talk about TRUST. For a submissive, being able to Trust someone so deeply that you are willing to literally put your life in their hands is very romantic. For a Dominant, having someone in your life who is willing to give you that kind of Trust can be profoundly moving.

Fantasy is another big element of BDSM. We call it role-play; one is in power and the other is powerless. Fantasy and role-play are probably the most common forms of BDSM out there, because it has such an obvious appeal. Even people who are horrified by bondage and D/s can usually see the appeal of role-play in the bedroom.

Last but not least there's the remaining aspect of BDSM; the enjoyment of inflicting or being in pain (commonly referred to as S&M). It plays into both the control and the fantasy aspects of BDSM. Often a BDSM scene will involve the submissive being "punished" by the Mistress/Master for some reason and it may also involve a fantasy to justify it.

 

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