Slave Selection

Female Led Relationship Blog

How Femdom Can Benefit a Woman

Jul 102019

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The advantages of a relationship where the female is the dominant and the male is the submissive can have great effects. Usually, the male is the dominant one in relationships, and this is traditionally accepted. However, there are many pros to being in a relationship where the woman is the boss, and this can even be very beneficial sexually. First, it can give the woman a stronger feeling of freedom, inside and outside of the relationship, because they have the ability to control their lives.

Second, a female who begins being dominant, especially through pleasure and pain methods will usually experience greater climaxes. Power itself is like one big drug, and when it’s used by women they can truly go from average orgasms to unimaginable orgasms. And this doesn’t only affect the intensities, but the number of orgasms they have. It is a fantastic experience that should be tried by all women in a sexual relationship.
Chastity itself even helps in relationships as it intensifies the sexual desires of the male, therefore increasing their desire for their mistress. It can save a marriage simply by giving a man desires about his wife and keeping his mind off of others making him appreciate her more. Chastity is just a very thrilling experience that may even change the whole directions of a couples sex life. In addition to that, chastity doesn’t have to be all about sex. Some couples arrange a chastity program where exercise is the main goal, such as the chastity belt will be removed after he loses 10 pounds or something along those lines.
There is a large gap between the number of truly submissive males and truly submissive females, which at first might discourage many readers who are men. However, even non-dominant women love a new experience in the bed, and again, with all these benefits, they may never go back. It is important that females get what they want in bed, and that males fulfill their desires as much as theirs are fulfilled. Dominance is a mindset that is natural and sometimes undiscovered, but it always has beneficial sides to it. If you are a male reading this article, then try femdom for your spouse, mistress, or girlfriend. If you are a female reading this, then try femdom for the new experience and the total power you will feel after experiencing it. It’s never too late to try something new.

Training your man to adapt to your female led relationship

Jan 052019

In order to train you will need to establish the things you want him to learn. You can get some from your list of relationship ideals such as fidelity and intimacy or some from your life direction goals and his cry for help. 

Generally what you want your man to learn in your female led relationship and what he wants to learn are very different. You want him to learn to overcome his bad habits, work independently, find fulfillment in growing, gain confidence in your leadership and participate as your supportive follower. He want to learn how to serve your body, obey your commands, please you sexually, humble himself and learn what it is like to surrender. Because of the difference and size of the task at hand you must choose your targets. When faced with a large number of tasks you must prioritize them, take the top ten and do as many as you can. Delegate where you can and just maintain a list of the ones that don't get done. There is, however, the added complication of keeping both of you motivated.

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The benefits for men in FLR

Jan 022019

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  • Indulge your fantasies.
  • Surrender to female authority.
  • Get closer to your Mistress by serving her body.
  • Become a better lover to your Mistress.
  • Remain confident by knowing the rules and consequences.
  • Knowing her expectations.
  • Express your willingness to submit.
  • Learning new things.
  • Helped in becoming a better lover.
  • Bring harmony to your family by serving.
  • Stop bad habits.
  • Encourage your Mistress as a successful leader.
  • Help normalize female led relationships.
  • Learn greater intimacy, connection and vulnerability.
  • Promote togetherness, connection and relationship longevity.
  • Work towards goals together.

The benefits for Women in FLR

Jan 022019

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"There should be zero downside to female led relationships when entered into with open eyes and a whole heart between two people who love each other." -- A BBS entry from Asserting leadership

  • A varied and interesting sex life.
  • As much control over your relationship, him and your life together as you want.
  • Being able to be bitchy, angry and condescending without conflict.
  • Becoming a better lover to your man.
  • Build a formal relationship agreement.
  • Expanding your leadership as you please.
  • Expanding your sex life as you please.
  • Get him to do as much of the housework as you like.
  • Greater respect from your man.
  • Growing confidence as a leader.
  • Having a more confident man who knows the drill.
  • Helping him to become a better lover.
  • Helping him to improve his health and well being.
  • Helping him to stop bad habits.
  • Indulging in your kinks and his as you choose.
  • More intimacy as desired.
  • Nurturing as much or as little as you want.
  • Pampering from your man and receiving as much as you want.
  • Promoting togetherness, connection and relationship longevity.
  • Satisfaction of pleasing your lover.
  • Teach and create change as much as you want.
  • Work towards goals together.

Watch out for scammers

Jan 022019

On Slave Selection We are prey.

Almost all drama classes explore Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s principle of “willing suspension of disbelief.” According to Coleridge, the we in the audience accept the pretense of the narrative and willingly buy into it as reality, suspending skepticism and allowing ourselves to believe that the actors onstage are really the characters and really engaged in the dramatic action.

Scams similarly require a willing suspension of disbelief.

 

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I couldn’t believe my good fortune when I heard back from a beautiful young Domme I’d written to on a dating site. As it turned out, I shouldn’t have believed it.

I was the perfect victim. I’m deep into middle age, alone, never had a FemDom relationship and want one terribly, and I wonder what’s going to happen with the rest of my life. Moreover, though I’m by no means rich, I’m employed and have some spare cash from time to time. So when a beautiful picture contacts me and answers my “but we’re far different in age” with something like, ‘age doesn’t matter as much as loyalty and obedience, and besides, mature slaves are better and more committed than young ones’, my defenses fall and my disbelief is suspended.

We started a text-relationship, and even though I thought I was on my guard, I was so lonely and desperate – something the scammer knew exactly how to take advantage of – that I suspended my disbelief. It cost me time, emotional investment, and money. The money wasn’t enough to hurt much before I figure it all out, but it was a lesson.

I was taken once, and nearly taken a second time. By the second one, my defenses were better fortified.

There are several good websites that outline the elements of common scams. They bear repeating here.

When someone contacts you, check their area code, and if possible do a reverse search on their phone number. Sometimes it’s legitimate that they don’t match the profile, but if they don’t, keep your guard up. Same for their name.

Pay attention to their English

Watch their English. Anybody who has studied a foreign language knows that the most difficult things to master are verb tenses and prepositions. If your dream Domme consistently misuses them, beware. Lines like “I really stressed up” should cause concern. “You will texted me yesterday” — ?? Don’t excuse it. Probe. Don’t think that just because you’re a sub you have to let it go.

Always ask for details. The second scammer who contacted me claimed to be from Vermont. I asked if she was from Burlington. The response: “I’m from Vermont.” After a couple more questions it was clear this person knew nothing about Vermont.

 

Another red flag is the “it doesn’t matter” line. If she’s (I’ll use that pronoun, though there’s no telling who the person(s) actually is) really young and beautiful, she may genuinely be bored with guys her own age – but don’t fall for it. Everybody knows male subs outnumber beautiful Dommes hundreds to one, so what makes you so lucky?

Be careful if they tell you very early on that they trust you. Why would they trust a total stranger? A statement of trust from the “Domme” is almost always a lead-up to some kind of request for a financial transaction. Statements of trust are also frequently accompanied by references to marriages, or “when we’re living together.” Beware.

Get a voice phone call relationship going as soon as possible. Skype or Facetime, or similar technologies are better still. A “Domme” who keeps putting off conversations and face-to-face meetings should be dropped immediately.

Download their photo(s) and run them through Google Image Search. This is far from 100% reliable, but in my first experience of being a dupe, when I finally caught on I not only found that the picture was of some soft-core internet pornstar, but that one of the photos the scammer had sent me had been Photoshopped to include a personal message to me – which I had fallen for totally.

Never have any financial dealings with anyone you haven’t met in person or at least Skyped with. Never give personal information.

Safety first!
Get a burner number (they’re available as apps now) and use it until real trust has been established. Never accept or cash a check or allow anything to be deposited in your account.

First, there is almost no legitimate business reason for such a transaction. Second, they’ll get your account information. Third, you’ll think money has actually gone into your account, the scammer will ask for just some of it back in cash (usually wired to them), and then you’ll find that their deposit bounces and you’re left holding the bag.

Never wire money. Never loan money. At least not without first establishing a solid, face-to-face relationship.

Slave – Selection
I think it’s fine to ask up front if the Domme is a professional. Personally, I respect that; I just want to know, so that I don’t get emotionally invested and then have to pay cash. I’ll pay – but only if both of us know what’s going on.

I must say, Slave-Selection seems to have much better policing than other sites, and we should all be grateful for that. But still, be careful. We subs in search of beautiful Dommes are all too willing to suspend our disbelief.

 

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